Vents..
I’ve never really given people the chance to meet the real me, the honest to God real me. It’s not because I don’t want to, or I am ashamed, it’s just that I have yet to meet the real me. I can be a goof, but I sure as hell wanna just sit and cry. I can be all moody and bitchy, when I promise you I was just wanting someone to say it will be just fine. There are days when I see myself old and loving and days I put a gun in my head fighting for courage to pull the trigger. I have never blamed anyone for leaving me, I know I’m not worth the trouble, I know how badly I always screw up. And when my world is doing fine and when i’m at the highest peak…I just wanna fall down. I don’t get why, but I don’t let myself be happy. Am I a masoquist? You know something else I don’t really like, talking about myself..but I can’t stop doing it. Am I a hypocryte? Will I be cried for if I die? Does anyone need me in their lives? Am I worth waiting for?… I wish I could show people the real me, and I will once I know who it is…
